Friends Don’t Expect Gluten-Free Friends to Eat Gluten

One of the most challenging things people face once they accept their new dietary guidelines is getting other people in their lives to do the same. It’s an odd concept really. Why would someone else care what you are eating? The answer to that question is long and varied and would be best answered by a therapist. However, I’ve had some experience with the subject and have heard from plenty of others that have been shocked by the reaction to their diet by friends and family members. I should add that both my family and my husband’s family were more than willing to work around my diet. Of course, by the time my first gluten-free holiday season rolled around, there were two other gluten-free people in my family.

Think about your average day. It involves food – morning, noon, and night. You might have to turn down food at work functions, business lunches, church outings, and every other social situation you can think of. It can get annoying explaining why you can’t eat something everyone is enjoying over and over again. Eventually, most of your friends will start to ‘get it’ and at least when you’re around them, no apologies (about not being able to eat something) will be needed. At least, that is true if your friends are not threatened by your diet.

The first few times a good friend invites you over (to an event that involves eating) and doesn’t have anything for you to eat, there isn’t cause for concern. Remember, we are always thinking about our food being gluten-free, but others are not obsessed with our dietary needs. The more often you’re around someone, the faster they will start to understand what being gluten-free involves. If, after a year, you’re still not being accommodated by your good friend with something safe to eat, there is probably something going on that is more their problem than yours.

Generally speaking, people like being around others that are like them. That means unhealthy people don’t necessarily want to hang out with people that are focusing on their health. When someone is told they have to eat gluten-free in order to get and stay well – and to keep from getting various cancers that untreated celiac causes – their friends might be put off by the new health kick. In fact, the friends might think the person is just going through a phase and that eventually “this too shall pass”. In other words, they assume that the gluten-free diet won’t be around by the time the holidays arrive.

When the holidays roll around and the gluten-free diet is still going strong, things can get unpleasant – especially for the gluten-free person. If someone suggests that you might give up your diet to make it easier for them for the holidays or a special event like their birthday party, a serious conversation is ordered. If your point regarding why it’s imperative you remain gluten-free does not go over well, it’s probably time to examine the friendship and consider whether it’s worth keeping or not. Friends worth having would never expect someone to eat something that would make them sick, period.